being overweight

I have been obese most of my life. I have tried many times to lose weight but it always seems to not work for me. Most of the problem is me, I like to eat more than I want to be thin I guess. Well I have never been thin So how would I know how it would make me feel. 
Being overweight is an awful feeling, you never feel adequate, you feel  that you have let your self down. Emotionally it is hard" I feel fat and ugly" most of the time, even though I have a great partner that loves me and would do anything for me. It does not matter what you family thinks of you. It what you think of yourself. As an overweight person your self worth and self esteem is in the dungeon. I think obese people have a tendency to be depressed. I know that I was depressed without realizing it, I just did not want to spend time with my family. I just wanted to be alone  and before I knew it I was eating more food than I use to, food is like at medication to me it numbs the pain of not being accepted and from being pointed at and know what people are thinking. Also having children say stuff like why is she so fat,  Even though they don't realize how much it hurts, but how can you be mad. Kids say whats on their mind and they are honest. Being overweight is hard on your body. But food is like a drug it is my addiction. The only thing I can't give up my addiction because I still have to eat. Maybe reading this will help someone see how an overweight person  feel and sees life. www.mystyle.com/mystyle/shows/ruby/index.jsp This is ruby website a great inspiration to me and maybe you too.

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